And Take it Away
by Mimiko
Summary: You're lucky to get over a broken heart from love. But you never recover from the broken spirit that comes from a hateful rape. [further proof that I really am crazy]


The terror that ran through her heart at that moment was more than she'd ever felt in her life. This was something that she could not fight back. The pressure of his claws in her was more painful than anything, because this, she would not get over. This would not fade from her mind, and this would never be undone.

The pain, the fear, and the shame of what was happening to her, forced the tears out of her eyes, and she hid her gaze away from whatever random demon had struck her during that new moon. She did her best to stop the tears. She was weak enough as it was, pinned beneath his body, and not being able to escape, but she couldn't halt the salty liquid from streaming down her cheeks as she cried out into the night for a savior that couldn't hear her.

They found her, laying in the middle of the forest, still naked, and shivering from fright and the early morning cold. Inu-Yasha's newly regained demon senses knew something was off the moment the sun had risen. Bounding through the trees, with Miroku, Sango on Kirara close behind, he set off after her.

The sight that greeted him shocked him to the core. He couldn't move, or speak, and his body's instinct to breathe had even been momentarily taken away. The reactions from Sango and Miroku were not much different. There was no doubting what had happened to their friend. Inu-Yasha walked over to the limp body, and knelt down next to her. 

He couldn't wake her, he realized. She was having a nightmare now, and he wouldn't be able to wake her.

With no more words he ran off into the woods, back to Kaede's village, where he ignored the probing questions and gazes of Shippou and Kaede, only speaking to prohibit the kit from going after Kagome. Even Shippou could tell from the look in Inu-Yasha's eyes, or rather, the lack of a look, that he wouldn't want to see what awaited him anyway.

"She's not dead is she?" Shippou asked hopefully.

Inu-Yasha's answer didn't do much to reassure him.

"After this? She might as well be."

Kagome awoke tucked into the blanket's she'd brought from her time on the futon. The room was empty, and for some reason that she couldn't quite recall, it scared her. Shaking her head, she threw the covers back to reveal pajama clad legs. She didn't even remember getting ready to go to sleep . . . 

"Kagome?" Inu-Yasha hesitantly asked, poking his head in the room.

"Yes Inu-Yasha?" she asked, wondering what had caused the normally brass hanyou's shyness.

"Well, um, how do you feel?"

"I feel fine. Why wouldn't I?" she answered, starting to get confused.

"Kagome," he started, looking as if he was trying to find the right words, "you don't have to lie. We all know what happened last night. Except for Shippou. I figured it was best if he didn't know . . ."

Kagome blinked, "What happened? I don't really remember much after going out to take my bath."

Inu-Yasha's eyes widened, and he stepped back out of the room, in search of Miroku.

"It's not really unheard of for people to forget traumatic events," the monk answered, when Inu-Yasha informed him of Kagome's situation.

"Maybe someone from Kagome's time would know something about it?" Sango suggested.

"I think," Kaede said, "the real question, is whether we _want_ Kagome to remember or not."

"Of course she shouldn't remember!" Inu-Yasha cried out, "It was a miracle she forgot!"

Kagome had changed into one of her more comfortable outfits, not understanding why she felt so sore between her legs. _Must be all the bike riding catching up with me_, she thought, before slipping her socks on.

"I'm ready to go guys!" Kagome said, walking into the room where they'd all been sitting. They jumped at the sound of her cheerful voice, and she eyed them suspiciously.

"Kagome, we thought it'd be better if you maybe, took a break, you know?" Sango said, unsurely.

"Why would I need a break?" she asked her friends.

"Because," Miroku said, "you've been working really hard, and Inu-Yasha said he'd help the villagers get some lumber for the fires this winter."

Kagome smiled at her half-demon crush and said, "That was nice of you Inu-Yasha!"

Inu-Yasha keh'd, knowing that now he'd have to do it, and stalked off outside.

Kagome shook her head at his antics, and smiled at Sango, "So, what are we going to do today?"

Sango grinned, but it seemed a saccharine sweet, more than needed, and entirely fake. It was at that moment that the young kitsune woke up, and bounded into Kagome's arms.

"Kagome! I missed you last night!"

Kagome usually would have smiled, and hugged her surrogate son back, but things were no longer usual for Kagome. The sudden touch had reminded her of other touches she didn't know she'd felt, and it scared her. It scared her more than anything.

She screamed, throwing Shippou back, and the force through her back into the corner, where she sunk into the floor, memories of a rape returning to her. Miroku rushed to the girl, Sango behind her, but in her shock and fear, Kagome pushed them both back, running for the hot springs.

"And then she ran away!" Sango said to Inu-Yasha when he returned, her strong front almost losing to her strong desire to cry for her friend.

Miroku nodded, and Shippou just looked hurt and confused. Kaede picked him up, whispering that it wasn't his fault, but Shippou didn't believe her.

Inu-Yasha took off after her scent, which headed to the hot spring.

He found her, scrubbing furiously at her skin as she cried.

"Kagome?" he called out, before he got there, in case she didn't want him there, or so she wouldn't sit him.

She was silent, and with worry, he leapt onto the boulder her back was on.

"Kagome? Kagome! Quit scrubbing so hard, you'll break the skin!" he yelled.

She turned to him, her eyes vacant and devoid of any feeling, and said, "I'm so dirty Inu-Yasha. He's made me dirty. Why? Why won't it wash off?"

Her skin was red from both the heat and her rough pressure, and Inu-Yasha couldn't bare to see it.

He turned to leave, but her soft cry stopped him.

"Inu-Yasha! Inu-Yasha, don't leave me alone again."

He nodded, but he couldn't look at her. He wanted to find the youkai that had did this to her, and rip it to shreds. But he couldn't leave her. Not when it was his absence that had inflicted this pain on her in the first place.

"So, now she remembers, and she won't leave the hot spring," Sango said to Miroku, relaying the message Inu-Yasha had given her when she'd gone to find out what had happened. 

"But," Shippou said, "what did she forget? And if she forgot, how did she remember?

"The imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten." Miroku said, thinking of the shivering girl with pity.

"Will she ever be the same?" Sango asked.

Miroku shook his head, "You can never be the same, if you changed. That's the way of life. People are constantly changing and if they were to go back, it'd be a step back for all of us."

Sango sighed and shook her head, "I feel so guilty. Not just 'cause I didn't go with her, or I couldn't stop it, but because I catch myself thinking 'Thank God it wasn't me.' God, what kind of a friend am I?"

Miroku hugged the girl who'd finally lost the battle with the tears, and sighed into her hair.

And I can't continue this. I started this, with the intent to show people that a girl who's just been raped will not get over it immediately and then ask for the guy she really loves to boink her. It's not that pretty people. Rape is not a nice thing. It's not something you really get over, and it's NEVER something you WANT. Trust me, no girl being raped will beg the guy to keep going.

There was a whole long rant here, talking about what happens when you're raped or molested, and what it was like for me but...but that's not really what's important anymore.


End file.
